You’re stronger than you realise.
I write this sipping coffee under a crisp blue sky celebrating us. I want to take this opportunity to reassure you about something I know you are painfully unaware of right now.
I used to wonder how a human is capable of making so many blunders in a single life. I know how you would have felt when I used to curse you for every witless and immature decision you made that screwed my later life. But now when I actually connect the dots it all makes sense. All the irreversible mistakes and consequences it followed because of your poor judgments, the silly drunken calls and fights and the amends we made, the baggage filled with issues seem compensated now.
I still remember you berating yourself in front of the mirror and punishing yourself with a moment of starvation and then suddenly stuffing your feelings with food. Crying yet eating a tub of ice-cream or mending your broken heart by enjoying a whole pizza by yourself. Downright stupid, isn’t it?
Those sleepless nights where you would sob, digging your face into the pillow because people called you names. It was naïve of you, trying so hard to adjust into the wrapped perception of beauty which society had fed you with. I could envisage the fear in your eyes of becoming a “nobody”. But little did you know that few years from then; this all will suddenly stop mattering altogether.
I know you’ve made your fair share of mistakes but somewhere along the way I’m proud of you. Those niggling mistakes and poor decisions have made me stronger in the course of time. I’m who I’m because of you, stumbling and falling yet getting up and fighting. Your spirit of never giving up on yourself has made me walk through this journey with immense strength.
So thank you kiddo for teaching me that I don’t need to convince and fit into someone else’s definition of being good enough for them. That I’m wasting my worthy time wandering around the hollow streets in search of happiness. The more we’re exposed to, in this world, the more we realize how little we know and understand. Now I know at the core of my being, I have the answers to help embrace my individuality. Not everyone has to fit in the stereotyped boxes. Create your own journey which makes you unique. Make peace with the mirror and watch your reflection change.
Much Much love,
Your older self!
LOVE, PEACE AND EVERYTHING ELSE!