Does it always have to start or end up with intimacy between two people or in the most casual words, sex? Does every hint or every aim of a romantic relationship have to be sex? Or have the two words sex and romance become synonyms to each other. This dynamic world has changed and broken major stereotypes and has gone beyond the cultural barriers, of which one is definitely one’s love life. Not only the secret romantic relationships but also one’s sex life. When two lovers are just fine, where love is in the air, but this love is bubbled with some tension. What is this tension when everything seems to be just perfect on the face of it. Well! The problem lies in the bedroom. The tension is active once the couple enters the bedroom. Lack of intimacy has the power of lessening the love between the lovers and may also lead to some very intense consequences such as separation. There exists a great difference between sex and romance, of which people unconsciously or even consciously tend to ignore because of the sole reason of sex. Not that it’s a “bad thing before marriage” as our culture treats it to be but on the other hand, it’s not a very great thing either. Where on one hand, romance seems to be sweet and warm and comfortable, sex inclines towards a wilder act. What really differentiates the two is the degrees of acts. In the most simple and casual words, romance is all about hugging, kissing and big cuddles with some deep talking in it where as, sex is termed to be more of an “exercise”. It is wild and hard and as logical it may sound to be called as an “exercise”, it does burn some great number of calories and releases stress. Moreover, it is also the factor of time that differentiates between the two terms. A sexual attraction is something that can be felt immediately and may fade away in the shortest span of time. On the other hand, romance takes time to get attracted in the first place and when once attracted, it takes the longest time to fade.
It all starts with opening wine bottles at dinner tables where there is no food but just two glasses being refilled gulp after gulp, and to go with it is a bit of flirting between two people. As light and relaxing it may sound, as hard it gets for our culture to get used to the practicality of life today. However, this is what I want to share. It’s not bad at all. It’s really better than being in the ties and complications of a relationship and juggling between commitments and the awkward silences of whether to finally have the first act of intimacy or not. Imagine the scene! The wine glasses are being refilled with wine with every sip of wine is a little buzz and the conversation gets as flirty as it can. What does one do next when both the parties have sense of what’s going to happen next? How to move forward because the wine bottle will at some point finish and so will the conversations. This scene can be looked from two different lenses. One from the male’s side and the other from the female’s side. Let’s consider the two perspectives simultaneously.
In the case of a male, the best way to move forward is to wait for the bottle to finish. Sure, you’re wondering what on earth am I blabbering. Ask for the bill. Be the man and go ahead to pay. For females, who are the biggest believer of independency, split it and settle it then and there. Don’t keep going on with it. It is not a very suitable thing. Leave the place but continue with the flirty conversations that you’ve been having. That’ll lead to a little giggle and a little touch here and there. Don’t make it too hard for the man to get it anyway. You two have entered the room and all you need is a bit tip to spice the intimacy.
Firstly, make the girl feel special and not that she is just another girl for you. How does that happen? That’s easy. It’s the charm that you use. Talk to her as if she is the only girl left and hold her in the best and the gentlest way. Talking from the other perspective, what really matter is the consent of the girl. Girls, if you aren’t comfortable and at any point think of not being indulged, say the only word that matter “NO”! This is something you have to be bold and gutsy enough to so. There’s nothing to be shy about thinking you might kill the mood or the man may judge you. Being the man, you ought to respect female and stop if it is a no. It might be a pleasure thing for you but may not be for the girl and hence, NO MEANS NO! However, on the other hand, it is not always the men who want sex. Females do also have such urges and that’s alright. Having a female to make the move to have sex should be treated as normal as any other man having to initiate the act. And for the very sole reason, females are as humans as any other man and hence, all intensions and thought processes should be similar enough.
Secondly, don’t dominate the act and definitely, DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS! What assumptions are these? Do not assume that she is doing just fine while you’re in the middle of having sex. She might not be fine but would be shy enough to confess so that she doesn’t ruin the moment. It makes it your duty, moreover, your responsibility to keep checking on her by asking her whether she’s doing fine and any adjustments required. Not only the man, but the female herself has the same duty while having sex.
Thirdly, and most importantly, be the smart one and encourage to use protection. You don’t want to be the careless man who goes on doing anything and everything with blind eyes. That’s just going to ruin the moment and your woman could leave too. If you really want to spice the act a bit, try our different positions. Keep checking by asking your woman whether she’s comfortable and on an affirmative response, go ahead with it! However, if she isn’t go back to what you were doing and maybe try later at ease, but remember, DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING!
It’s not a very easy thing to get into. If our culture is still not comfortable with the idea of sex, it’s totally fine to take your time to be fine with the idea too. There isn’t any rush for that. It is very truly said that everything takes time and everything has a timing to it. Hence, so does this. If not now, then someday! Closing this crucial chapter of life, treat women equally in this aspect and understand the fact that they are humans too and can very well have the urge of having sex. Having such urge shouldn’t be a shame and should be just normal as any other man having the same urge. Moreover, I would suggest that you take these hints and tips in mind, and go with the flow. This will definitely spice up your sex life, for whom sex is already active but remember to sense the distinction between sex and romance and act accordingly!